The Latter in the 'Either-Or'
"You want to say something?" No nothing at all! The beauty of her silence has a blushing comfort on him. She conspired with her head before each exchange with him. Planned words pleased him more since he often couldn't digest or rather understand her spontaneity. How artfully she learnt to abandon her heart with her fist sweating and clenching in the darkness. Words growled inside her...throbbing and scolding her hibernating longings. She feared whether the fluttering of her veiled wings would reach his ears and betray her smiles and silence. Her mask was a slowly built up one out of numerous silences like this, suspending her wings in vain exertions for a sudden flight. She couldn't entreat him to fly with her. No that was not possible. What would he do in such flights for her flights were always unplanned and instinctual, filled with "commas" and "question marks"?? He hated commas and question marks...he loved only "exclamations and full-stops"! "Brackets" vexed him like hell. How earnestly she grasped all his likes and dislikes and gave him the warm shock of mystery at times when her repression overflowed! How dexterously she kept him in ignorance of the fact that what he found and believed as a big beautiful straight exclamation-"she!"- herself was a clump of commas and question marks! There were only two choices...either she should fly single or she should walk double. She couldn't dare to do the former for she was damn sure that she'll find only the white white blankness when she folds back her wings after the return. She couldn't afford for a "neither nor" too...it would be dreadful for her...so she picked the latter in the "either-or". The "either-or" mocked her too often that she had to defend her choice. Picked choices should not show off its distortions. Its distortions should be concealed anyway by any self argumentation. So she found out a meek solution for the growling moaning words inside her...throbbing and scolding her hibernating longings..."words in print"! Words in print are mute! Fictionalize it! It will become more mute to him! The commas, question marks and brackets hardly visible to him. And fly in "the viewless wings of poesy!"
I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!
-Alan Greenspan
Beautiful post <3
ReplyDeleteDear Nasnin..
ReplyDeleteYou took every thing from english book, annotations, ifs buts, connectives etc and made a story out of it.. the feminine and male charecteristics.. expecially the she part and her feelings were lovely..
Loved the ending too.. tricking us into believing that what u meant is way ahead of what we think huh? clever girl, made me read again.. he he!
Loved it.. Keep writing more..!
KP
The ending was perfect.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful blog you have :)
The PostMan
http://postcardsinthewind.blogspot.com/
i had posted a comment dear and it just vanished
ReplyDeletei really cant repeat the same words, they too vanish the moment it escapes from me:)
when i am bac here after a long while, i find one of ur finest pieces welcoming me..
keep the brackets open round the clock nasnin.. fill it with all the "nevertheless", "if it werent", "just get lost", "u dont know me ..hahhaaha" , " I will be ME, no matter what"...
but do copy paste it here in print.. for urself and for me.. love u dear
wonderfullllllllllllllll.... i was reading and thinking what is this all about.. now reading for the 5th time and still :( :P
ReplyDeletethanks you posted the quote at the end ...which saved me :P
But I did understand..exactly the way I wanted to!!
ReplyDeleteLovely post..enjoyed it. Keep up the good work.
You should write a book .Amazing !
ReplyDelete@Aman: Thanks dear...glad that you found beauty in it:-)
ReplyDelete@KP: The quote was actually meant to compliment the idea in the piece. Never meant for a trick. But now it seems to me too as a trick when I myself read it when I doubted the clarity of its comprehension:-)
I am extremely glad that you sucked the gist of it...so happy:-)
@The PostMan: Thanks for visiting and for the compliment:-)
@Pygmalion: There you are with your amazing response! I wanted to portray this particular girl's feelings who is tossed in between her instincts and her love. If it was in the first person narrative there would have been only "nevertheless" "get lost" and "no matter what I will be ME" just as you said! You can guess na what I am talking about! We are detached queens!
Love and regards sweet Pygma:-)
@Israr: Ha ha ha...this is exactly why the "she" in there decided to rely on words in print!(Just joking) The entire thing is built upon metaphors...the idea was too abstract in my mind for a direct plane rendition. I am sorry that it made you read it for five times! The quote at the end speak volumes on how we understand things...:-)
Thanks for your honesty Israr! An honest remark is much better than a fake compliment!
@Smee: So happy to see your comment and even more happy that you enjoyed the piece! Thanks a lot and my regards:-)
@Izdiher: Thanks a ton Izdiher! You reminded me of my dream...:-)
I got the feeling, sicerity..
ReplyDeletexoxo,
http://rosalinaaa.blogspot.com/
I can read this over and over again for I can see a sea of literature and wandering thoughts in it. Beautiful post and the ending quote is so deep.
ReplyDeleteSaru
Silence has its own beauty and so has spontaneity...its simply the moments which makes outline to add lustre to them both. this is what i believe..and I could relate the girl so much with me...Its always planned words in my case even wen my heart yearns to spill the beans.
ReplyDeletebeautiful play of words :)
sarah
This one makes you think. It's lovely. Beautiful. I can't think of appropriate adjectives just now but I love this. LOVE.
ReplyDeleteHey it is so beautiful .It is always lovely to read your post :0
ReplyDeleteYou are invited for a a ea party at my blog.
@Rosalina: Thanks dear:-)
ReplyDelete@Saru: A small drop on the sea of literature:-) I am extremely happy that you liked it:-)
@Sarah: Thanks Sara for dropping by:-) It is when people relate to the feeling depicted that we feel most happy!
@Zeba: Thanks a lot dear! Silent adjectives have a special luster!
@Izdiher: I am here back from your tea party! It was delectable! Thanks for that special tag!
You expressed the complete feel using all commas, brackets etc. Awesome Nasnin :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Bagya:-) Happy to hear that!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great piece Nasnin... I like the way you weave stories and poems with the language. Too evolved you know.. As I used to say, you're a literature queen and you're proving it time and again :)
ReplyDeleteHi Nasnin, you're tagged here.. Pls chk it out. http://musingsofanand.blogspot.com/2011/10/versatile-blogger-awardees.html :)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all thanks for that wonderful appreciation and thanks a ton for that special tag which brought out a big smile on my face at this morning...check out my comment there!
ReplyDeleteWitty use of words...
ReplyDeleteThanks Ankur:-)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletetoo good!
ReplyDeletewhat an intricate weaving of 'words' (its syntactics and semantics) and 'emotiions' (its depth and power) into one beautiful masterpiece!
my best lines - "either she should fly single or she should walk double"...
the former is for those born to fly, and hence i could connect with it! and many would even if they may have thought to walk double with lesser mortals :D
Thank you so much dear...am so happy to get such a sincere feedback:-)
ReplyDeleteaahhh... this is a great piece of writing.. how do u pen such thoughts??? Loving ur blog... :)
ReplyDeleteThis post is my favourite too...thanks dear:-)
ReplyDeleteHi Nasnin..hope your are doing good :)..I came across this by chance and it would be an understatement if I say I love it...I felt like I am this girl..but not knowing how to print those thoughts and words bubbling in my mind...too often I have wished for some contraption that would let me transfer my thoughts into words..but..alas!...Dear, you are gifted and I pray that you keep writing for yourself and the hapless souls like myself.
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton:) This is one of my favourite pieces! And it's such a pleasure that people can identify with this character that I have woven from a sudden flash of emotion! Such an good inspiration from you:) Thanks once again:) I yearn to write more! Regards:)
Delete:)..take care...
DeleteBeautiful, I can relate in so many ways ♥
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, I can relate in so many ways ♥
ReplyDelete