"You want to say something?" No nothing at all! The beauty of her silence has a blushing comfort on him. She conspired with her head before each exchange with him. Planned words pleased him more since he often couldn't digest or rather understand her spontaneity. How artfully she learnt to abandon her heart with her fist sweating and clenching in the darkness. Words growled inside her...throbbing and scolding her hibernating longings. She feared whether the fluttering of her veiled wings would reach his ears and betray her smiles and silence. Her mask was a slowly built up one out of numerous silences like this, suspending her wings in vain exertions for a sudden flight. She couldn't entreat him to fly with her. No that was not possible. What would he do in such flights for her flights were always unplanned and instinctual, filled with "commas" and "question marks"?? He hated commas and question marks...he loved only "exclamations and full-stops"! "Brackets" vexed him like hell. How earnestly she grasped all his likes and dislikes and gave him the warm shock of mystery at times when her repression overflowed! How dexterously she kept him in ignorance of the fact that what he found and believed as a big beautiful straight exclamation-"she!"- herself was a clump of commas and question marks! There were only two choices...either she should fly single or she should walk double. She couldn't dare to do the former for she was damn sure that she'll find only the white white blankness when she folds back her wings after the return. She couldn't afford for a "neither nor" too...it would be dreadful for her...so she picked the latter in the "either-or". The "either-or" mocked her too often that she had to defend her choice. Picked choices should not show off its distortions. Its distortions should be concealed anyway by any self argumentation. So she found out a meek solution for the growling moaning words inside her...throbbing and scolding her hibernating longings..."words in print"! Words in print are mute! Fictionalize it! It will become more mute to him! The commas, question marks and brackets hardly visible to him. And fly in "the viewless wings of poesy!"
I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant!
-Alan Greenspan
