The private lady had “selected her own society”, closed her
“valves”, and peeped through the lattice at the strange faces, unmoved like a stone. It’s Emily Dickinson. The
most peculiar woman. An eccentric being of “finest secrets”. Was she arrogantly
sure of the durability of her art even while having a word with her sister to
annihilate them all? I wonder how so much of that reclusion hasn’t hampered her
insight. I am so comfortable with her except the fact that the rope of "death" recurrently squeezes her lines. Our reservations nullify each other with a
laxity which gives enough spaces for the words alone to hang in the air. And I
would have get caught for stealing away all her purposefully shuffled manuscripts
crammed in her drawers if I was allowed into her privacy. I fell in love with you the moment I heard you saying "Tell all the Truth but tell it slant!"
My soul
gets wet, my soul gets burnt when I am with him. It's Neruda. Teach me your language in that green ink. I heave sighs and sighs
and pine and pine for that piquancy of unrequited love, loss, passion and
cravings. Have you been a woman at somewhere at sometime? You urge me to
transform myself into a man who wants to entwine with several women and uncover
all their furtiveness. Such a gentle torture, so rudely polite.You seem like an alien descended here, first to objectify and
then to subjectify and then again to objectify this “love”. You inflict so much of
pain in me that I would remain freakish and insatiable all my life. I wish I would have never met you. Tell all the Truth but tell it slant!
My Hamlet is
waiting out there with his pale forehead and “leaden eye despair”. I have left
him with his contempt for “incestuous sheets” and “pernicious women”. How would I pacify his melancholy? You are
too young and too old. Come out of your shell and don’t argue that “I could be
bound in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space”. You and I think
too much. I have your future with me. I feel like a God, helpless
to inform you of it. I suffer with you. I am delaying myself so that you won't take my face in your arms and condemn “God has given you one face and you make yourself another”. It's not meant to be uttered like that.Tell all the Truth but tell it slant!
I know you
have that secret wish never to see my face again since it will demolish all the unpleasantness
we had the last time we met. It may bring back all the dusted love. But “what I
wouldn’t do to see your face again”? You made me apprehend that love is not that
easy to find, that deception will wag its tail every time I search for something
more tender, more pristine. Purity should not be demanded beyond a limit. It no longer exist in its nudest form. Have a look at me now so that I would get one
more chance to make you laugh when I stumble and fall and bleed. I
would doubt the pleasure behind that pricking joy. Aren’t you sad? Tell all
the truth but tell it slant. Lest I may not survive!
I never knew she had such a unique touch. Her life seems to be so interesting and mesmerizing. The title is one thing which I will not forget for a long long time.
ReplyDeleteBTW, your new profile picture is very lovely. You're looking very innocent.
Nasnin,This was a great composition of prose and was like reading a poetry! So well captured, without a slant:)
ReplyDeleteRemarkable Nasneen ! Your insight is way way deep for your age, keep writing, every piece of yours leaves a mark, making me dwell on it.
ReplyDeleteanother awesome post by the one and only... :) i always wait for your posts and try to understand what you says and writes and i think it will greatly help me in improving my writing :)
ReplyDeleteAnother *Brilliant* piece of art from you, dear Nasnin! :-) The title is so unique and I like how you echo it at the end of each paragraph! You are truly in an elite league of your very own :-) <3 to U
ReplyDeleteP.S. On my last post (commenting replies) I mentioned how beautiful I think your profile pic is! I just knew there was a lovely face behind all of the beautiful words :-)
Oops, that was supposed to be ♥ :D
ReplyDeleteDearest Nasnin..
ReplyDeleteThe dept in your thoughts that churn in and blend some remarkable works is a wonder.. For we all love them separately with their works.. and hamlet of course.. there is a demarcation a separation in my mind that doesn’t want them to be blended together.. I put them in separate columns in my mind and cherish.. I feel that I do injustice to them by combining them together.. :) Not any more..!! Your words prove that combining certain uniqueness would result in a wonder..
Emily just faded away in my childhood, except for these words, that always stays.. (I don’t remember the exact verse.. but I guess it goes as...)
How dreary.. to be Somebody! public like a Frog
To tell one's name.. To an admiring Bog!!!
How true.. :)
The Song of despair.. is one of my fav too..
"In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!" - Neruda...
Thank you for bringing such words to my clouded mind once more..
So finally the veil is lifted.. the eyes with the butterfly opened wide? to let us glimpse the frame that created some wonderful nostalgic posts? Lovely pic!!
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe last para and the para before it..omg! were you peaking into me all this while? m speechless Nasnin!..I really am! Or do you have some sneaking ways into my cabinet? How does it work?
ReplyDeleteThere is so much of longing and 'wistfulness' in these lines, there is so much of itching to make amends ,there is so much of relegation into the past, there is is much of pain of lack of realization... there is so much of 'if only'...terrific
PS:We should really co-blog a space in blogosphere :D :)
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ReplyDeleteNasneen dear I am seeing what you saw.. and more .. because I see not merely the 'eccentric' Emily, but also the enthusiastic young Nasneen peeping in quietly and ransacking Emily's shoe boxes and drawers.. I even saw that vanity table drawers, the bedpost, the faded mirror and the armchair..
ReplyDeleteAnd my heart gave a leap when I read the last two lines of second para.. (I keep it to myself that you stole my line... The feel you convey when you say 'I wish I would have never met you'... is mine too)
And am I glad seeing you ! I am not sure.. I love to see your beautiful innocent face , but I miss the imagination and curiosity! (I had these lines in my return comment to you, incase you have missed, I am taking a little more of your space here) Love you dear Nasneen and I see in you a literary giant.. Don't confine yourself to blogging and don't close your valves ever.. Let the world know you..And don't make me ransack your shoe boxes..I am proud of you my dear
And seeing your face, no one can stay unpleasant..
ReplyDeleteThe 'pleasure' behind the pricking joy is a mask, which you can nip off by the touch of your finger tip..
I agree with Lady Fiona, you indeed belong to an elite league of your own.. 'sui generis'
@Saru: Thanks Saru! Emily Dickinson mesmerize us in her most strangest ways! I am glad that you enjoyed it:-)
ReplyDelete@Rahul Bhatia: I am so honored to hear that:)Thanks a ton:-)
@Smee: Thanks dear for such lovely compliments:)Love and regards:):)
@Israr: Where were you dear? Haven't seen you around for a while! So happy to get you back! Thanks a lot:)My warm regards:)
ReplyDelete@Fiona: Thanks my lovely lady! The title is thread source of this entire fabric here. Every time you come here you bring forth so much pleasantness! And super-glad that you found my prof picture lovely! Lots of love:) Have a nice weekend!
@Dearest KP: Thanks for the lines of those legends you tucked in. Those are my favourites too. I really relished the first part of your comment! You put it so beautifully:)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes finally the veil is lifted! So happy to have those nostalgic words:) Regards regards and love:) Have a wonderful weekend!
@ Stuti: How deeply you probed into the underlying feelings here. You interpret the way I really want it to! And dear...I have often felt these same things you said...I don't know how we have that same colour inside! How similar!!
And regarding the co-blogging, that would be something damn interesting! Why not dear:):)
@Pygma: I don't really know how to reply dear...I truly don't know! I am touched to the core! My own shades emerges most vividly in your words."The 'pleasure' behind the pricking joy is a mask, which you can nip off by the touch of your finger tip.."...that's something so drastically beautiful I have ever heard on my short span of life!'sui generis'??? Hope that my blush wont burn my cheeks:) I really hope that one day we would collide each other in this round world! Then my joy would be boundless!
ReplyDeleteOh yes dear.. sure we would.. that was exactly what I thought while I was commenting.. and gosh how come you got it.. our telepathy is strong, right?! Yes indeed sui generis - a unique class of its own..
ReplyDeletethe central message is very touching.
ReplyDeleteA bit off the the heading, yet the picture is siding with the painful reality/feelings
To Nasnin & Stuti :-) :-)
ReplyDeleteI recall being so pleased when both of you found each other here on blogger! :-) I saw the similarities in thoughts, words and literary talent that you both possess! I just wanted to say how thrilling it is for me to see that you've also come to the same 'twin' conclusion ~ yay!
The co-blogging effort would be phenomenal!!!
Much love to both of you and wishes for a wonderful weekend! ♥ ♥
@Fiona: You do not know how beautiful your words are, and they are not beautiful because you intend them to be sweet but because you are so sweet!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you read between our lines so profoundly well !your encouragement and inspiration will always be cherished! Thanks much :)
@Nasnin : 3 words (or i'll spoil it :P)-"I am game"
It read like verse in prose. Beautiful. Melancholy, wistful and profound.
ReplyDeleteWell done on another remarkable piece of highly intelligent writing. I read it several times! You have a very bright future, I picture your words in a play at the Globe Theatre..
ReplyDeleteP.S. If you decide to go ahead and do your 'co-writing' give me advance warning so i can buy a larger dictionary ;) You both exist on a horzion so far in the distance you leave your ages in a wake 200 miles behind.. very impressive.. Best wishes.
@A gigantic grain of sand ;D ~ That was SO heartwarming to read from you! Thanks so much, dear, and it is my pleasure :)
ReplyDelete3 more words: "Bring it on!!!" :))
@Paul ~ Maybe we could get a 2 for 1 deal on the dictionary? :D
You beautiful writer you. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for all the lovely words on my blog. They made me day. Sending some love your way. :-)
NASNIN, YOU ARE ABSENT FROM MY BLOG.
ReplyDeleteMY NEW POST ON A CELEBRITY MISSES YOU.
@Fiona and Paul: You two are no less :P :D
ReplyDeletePS: Fiona, 'gigantic' and 'speedy' makes me feel draconian ! :D, Roll on. m enjoying it :)
First of all I am extremely sorry for this delayed response here. Was caught up in a number of things;)
ReplyDelete@Pygma: Yes Pygma... somekind of connection locks our thoughts together:-)
@Taique Mian: Thank you so much dear. I am glad that you found it touching:-)An I have read your post. Check out my comment there. Regards:-)
@Fiona: You always make me feel so special dear...I am so happy that you sensed that connectivity between two of the buds here! Thank you so much...how sweet of you dear...lovely lady! Lots and lots of love:-)
@Stuti: Me too dear..."I am game"! And Fiona is right...You are gigantic grain of sand:-) Love and regards:-)
@Ajay: Thank you so much for dropping by! I am glad by your feedback:-)
@Paul: Wow dear...such big compliments! I hope that I can rise upto the expected standards from now on! I am truly delighted to have such appreciations:-) And as Stuti said you and Fiona are no less:P Regards:-)
@Zeba: So happy to see you dear...I am so so glad! Love and regards:-)
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL WRITTEN UP.
ReplyDeleteThanks Izdiher:-) Have a nice weekend:-) Regards dear:)
ReplyDeleteNice....!:)
ReplyDeleteThanks...!:)
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time here and I enjoy reading your post and comments from your commentators, very encouraging, your site is so alive. I'm so happy that I found another site like yours to follow.:) Keep sharing because your writings are really great!:)
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot dear:-) Keep visiting! I would like to checkout your blogs when time allows me:-) Thank you so much for visiting my page and following it:):)
ReplyDeleteI am waiting for your next post.
ReplyDeleteMy next post is waiting for you too.
Please make a visit at your convenience.
What are you....its such a mature writing..i loved reading it..finally got something heavy to read .
ReplyDeletenice, expecting more from you,dear. and wishing u all success
ReplyDelete@ Taiq: Sure dear! I am on my way to your post! It's so nice of you to give me these invitations. Next time I hope that I won't keep you waiting:)
ReplyDelete@A guilty conscience: Thanks a lot for the visit:) Feels glad that you loved reading it:):)
@Anonymous: Thanks dear:) Wishing you the same:):)