Flimsy Reasonings and Rude Rejections...

He was critically scrutinizing the contours of my face, his eyes threatening to decipher the meaning of my every expression, to discover all the twisted ways of my mind, to fish out all my self deceptions...yes he has always unwrapped my self deceptions and conceitedness smoothly winning over my defensive arguments which I bootlessly do to prevent my ego being wounded. My EGO!...it was freakishly wounded and harshly subjected to alterations each time he brought out a new discovery about me. 

Why this rejection? I just want to know the reason behind your rejection. Or are you unable to trace the reason? Are you that much self ignorant? Or are you not convinced of your own flimsy reasoning?

Surely he has shown the best and the worst in him to me alone...for he seemed to be a web of  coded mysteries and great composure to others while there slept in a swirl of emotions and affections stored inside the caverns of his heart. He has given me the best words and the worst hurts. He always had the finest to offer, the finest of his considerations and possessions. So why do I reject him? Surely I cannot question the gravity and naturalness of his love, the transparency of his feelings. His earnestness is beyond the reach of such questionings and doubts. Are you unable to trace the reason? Or are you not convinced of your own flimsy reasoning? Is it because I am incapable of such strong affections and feelings? Or is it because I want to define him purposefully as another version,  another victim of my overwhelming detachment and negligence.

I am afraid whether I can return your feelings. I am helpless that you feel that way...His face testified the bruises of mortification...A hefty silence...silence that lacerated me into a strange shame and desire for non-existence. He struggled to digest the idea. 

It's exactly this fear of rejection that prevented me to ask you these much time...and finally it happened! 

And it's this fear of mortifying you that compelled me to dodge you from asking me! 

Mortifying? It's not just the question of mortification dear...I think you should retrospect once in a while at least to get a glimpse of that knowledge of how ignorant you are! 

Another discovery! My EGO!... freakishly wounded and harshly subjected to alterations each time he brought out a new discovery!