NIGHTMARES

Sometimes words become nightmares

Limiting you to be dumb

Locking your thoughts in prison.

I am so sorry for not being a dumb

Things accepted by many which I don’t accept

Often crushes me.

They say “you are not worth to be accepted

For you are devoid of accepted norms”.

I can’t pick up their words

I don’t see the soul of it

And words become nightmares.

Though I am often a coward

Sometimes I sweat out….

My bloody thoughts from within

Thinking that the triumph will be mine

But they steal the ultimate victory.

My senses are in a dizzy lake

Swimming…and swimming…

Not knowing how to swim

Wild thoughts…

Please don’t creep in anymore

I am neither your enemy nor your friend

Please be a stranger…

Leave me blank!

Make me ” what I am not”!

Abandon me

You vanquish my innocence

My happiness…my blood ties

Be silent be dumb

Run away with your stupid reasonings.

Go and kill yourself

Please extricate me from your horrifying pool.

I wish you to be paralyzed

I wish you would never knock at my brain.

But the fact is that

You don’t knock…

You are a thief

Slowly and soundlessly conquering your aim.

I understand you

You understand me

But they don’t understand us.

They labeled us mad creatures

Carriers of sin…

Of illegal possession.

For them we are irrational

For us they the same.

But we should be dumb

For we are alone and targeted.

We are unpleasant lonely challengers

Always defeated and defeated by them

They are equipped with nightmares

The nightmares even stronger than you

That shatter us to the core!

MY EMPTY THEATRE

My grandmother took me in her arms,

When I was small,

She lulled me, made me smile

Flowered my tender cheeks

She listened to my absurdities

Coped with my anger, my violence.

And later when my skin hardened

When my fingers lengthened

When my eyes widened

When I learned to see the moon alone

I turned my face away from her.

“You won’t understand”, I said.

And then the face of my grand father

faded and faded since his death

His long face, his silvery hair,

His kisses of love on my forehead

All went into air with him.

My love was always invisible

I always had the stage to perform

The right co-actors were ready.

But I didn’t Know how to act

Rather I denied to act.

And so my theatre was still

Never reverberated with applauses

My theatre was empty.

And then one day

I saw my grandfather

Sitting in one of the seats

Asking me to perform

“Which role?” , I asked

“Shakespeare’s Ophilia”, he said

“I don’t deserve Ophilia’s innocence,

I don’t deserve Ophilia’s heart of love

I can’t play her

I am too small for that”, I cried

And then he came towards me

Kissed me on my forehead

Stroked my hair with his long fingers

Ah! That touch of love he used to give me…

I smiled with ecstasy

Kissed his long strong hands.

And when I woke up

I was in the lap of my grandmother

Who was wondering at my kiss to her

After those long years.

Her wrinkled face bore tears

I told myself

“Your tears flowed from my river!”

WE THE UNFATHOMED

Caught in the darkness of emptiness

My tangled thoughts screamed.

My heart shivered

Flailed by the questioning eyes.

My old innocence was frazzled

The divinity was shadowed by time.

I couldn’t here the voice of mine

It didn’t over come the voice of many.

I lost among others

Like ‘others’ lost among ‘others’.

I thought you and me were far way

With distant hearts and thoughts.

We together forget ‘togetherness’.

I watched the tree with ‘my’ eyes

You watched the trees with ‘your’ eyes’.

For we are abandoned by the vision of heart.

We were born with vision

We were saints in childhood.

Now we gained the ‘art of living’

The ugly art of blindness and callousness.

We have our own saga

Sagged by the torturing ‘egos’

Which is an unrealized egregious phenomenon

Waiting to wither wisdom.

Our senses are drowsy

Drained away by blood and life

Flowers bloomed, sky rained

Amidst these obstinate creatures.

Some talk about supernatural

Who don’t know even natural.

‘Salvation’, ‘next life’, and such words of obscurity

Wondered and feared by we fools

Who repeat conditions and crowds

Watered absurdity and again

And again watered obscurity.

We called the real sages the pigs

The shameless legacy of generations.

Holy books are touched by unholy minds

Interpreted, misinterpreted, and revamped.

Everything is taunted and haunted

You and me are affected.

The shadowed divinity mocks us

“You are the betrayed and the fools!”