Such Habits...

To search beauty in others-
-Is a habit that can be slowly nurtured
To constantly navigate from one positive to another
To erase the received injuries that mortified you
To abnegate your ego
To sublimate one’s disappointment for something larger
Like a well-made philosophical argument like:
“To be dispassionate and stand offish to oneself
In the precipice of gelid truths”
Where you lose yourself in the enticing beauty of such words
And to embrace the heart at the other end.

But at some point you might realize
Or get shockingly awakened to the sheer ugliness
Of how you made everything of yours expendable.
It’s almost like a fish who thrived cozily-
In its delusional fluid where it felt it was home
But where at any time a bait-
In the shape of a fly or flesh
Can hook you with its savoury charm
To pull you out from your self-made truths and lies
To something that is intolerable and unbreathable.

Isn’t it always fatal to have such momentary distractions?
To quietly face oneself?
To acknowledge your regressions?
To not to cover but to heal?
And by the time YOU want to celebrate YOU
You simply have to be released into the water,
For you are so accustomed to some veneers
That you think you are not made for any other surfaces.
You see-
Once something is a habit, it is not dispensable.