"As I was flung between the assigned feminine roles and the rebellious self questionings on the unquestionable social conditioning..."...oops! Is it "irritatingly confessional"?...I pause in between but my pen scorns to pause...it's unabashedly facile when it's confessional.
So...why confessional? It's like you click click click your inner chattering and when these self-centric pieces are born it wedges the gap between 'you' and the 'inner you' , that vacuity is gone, the outline of the inner landscaping becoming bolder and bolder and there is this sudden clarification, this drained off feeling, a purified sense, a cathartic effect. Oh yes...catharsis! This "externalization of the internal" as Wordsworth puts it even rationalizes the irrationality of some queer ways of perceptions and thoughts.
Every thought dangles itself incessantly until it's gorged by these grossly confessions. It has become an essential menace...the essential confessions of a catharsis seeker.
I also know that by confessing
by peeling off my layers
I reach closer to the soul...
I shall some day see
My world de-flashed, de-veined, de-blooded...
-Kamala Das
well written nasnin.. i like ur philosophic touch of perceptions..
ReplyDeletenone like kamala das indeed, who else can do the honour of this
"At sunset, on the river ban, Krishna
Loved her for the last time and left…
That night in her husband’s arms, Radha felt
So dead that he asked, What is wrong,
Do you mind my kisses, love? And she said,
No, not at all, but thought, What is
It to the corpse if the maggots nip?"